***I did not expect that I could make a 4th poem out of the same person..and on the 4th day straight...This is the first time ever.
**What happened? When I opened my G4M account and checked on his profile..I saw that the "I AM TAKEN" words at the top of his page are already gone. So that was it...My wake-up call. I cried the moment I saw that, and so this poem came into existence.
*I wrote this poem just this 7 in the evening of January 31, 2009...Before the Love Month...At least, I am positive that my February and so on will be better.
Here is my 4th Poem for him:
Reality struck my mind
Pierced my heart and
Left it bleeding relentlessly
Until at last all the love blood
Flowing through my veins
Have come out of me
And evaporated with the air
Where it should belong…
Where it should have settled in
A long, long time ago…
Just gone and hopefully forgotten.
For the past few days
All I did was cry
Hope, reminisce and cry again.
My eyes grew baggy and stressed
Yet my tears never gave up to flow.
Then, just before January ends
The biggest sign that I’ve been waiting for
Came in before my very eyes
What more can I ask now
For me to accept the fact that it’s all over
When will I ever move on?
To anybody who has been in love
You can empathize with me
If I had become so stupid lately
If I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat
And if I’ve been such a fool
As to consciously keeping my self blind
For the things which are blatantly
Showing on my face.
This time the universe had spoken
And it’s just me who hasn’t given my consent
My approval to disengage myself from the bondage
That has been enclosing me in sorrow
That has been confining me in strict isolation
And just leaving me in the dark companionship
Of the nightmares of his memories.
My stars are now in line with the universe
The moon which has been staying with me for sometime
Had finally gone tired of stalking me
Now, the sun is starting to traverse the horizon
Going towards the peak of my gloomy sky
Then, hopefully illuminating it with its beams
And totally transforming my dismal atmosphere
Into an ambiance fit for a new start…
Of a new beginning.
Hopefully, this is it
Hopefully, I am at the point of no return
A new day has come already.
Yet, the threat of turning back
Is something which I can’t underestimate
I may be on the track of reviving myself
Of starting anew
But, the reality of a love which has left a deep mark
On my heart and soul
Remains dormant within me
A little stimulus might come along the way
And if I am not strong enough to fight against it
Then, I’ll fall over and...
...over again to the same trap.
I can not take a single step forward towards a new ground
If the other part of me is still holding on from its comfort zone
From such position which has been a part of me for some time
Yet sad to say can just stagnate me from rising
And will just keep me hiding from the shadows of someone
Who doesn’t even care a bit about the boundless love that I can give.
I might have been stranded to the thought
That being with him and having him in my life
Is just the best feeling in the world
But, now I must shift my thinking
Towards the trusted classic reality
That the best feeling in the world
Is realizing that you are happy
Without the person
You thought you needed the most.
I had more than enough share of rejection from him
I had enough signs from the heavens
I had felt the strong blows of reality on my face
I had been there; I had done that
I had prayed so hard and hoped unceasingly
I had asked him for a bargain
I had offered him to change myself for him
And I had begged him on bended knees
Just to come back and be with me again.
I feel that I am so worthless now
That my dignity has been eaten out by stray dogs
And my pride had been so depressed
That I have nothing left even for self-respect.
So now, so long for the old days
I had done my part in this game of love
It’s high time to just sit and relax again
And just be open with what might come along
I had shed off enough tears already
For now, I have to regain what I’ve lost
And bring back what has been altered
On my momentary fall at the chasm
Of his muddy affection.
I’ve learned a vital lesson
In my sojourn towards his heart
That in this battle,
If the other person left you already
Just don’t expect that he’ll come back
And die with you
For at that point of time
He has found another battle to begin
Which sad to say, doesn’t include you anymore.
So, just get up and save yourself
And please, just mind your own business
I won’t tell that it’s his loss, not yours
Because that’s an unsolicited remark already
It’s an autopilot thought of anyone being rejected.
Instead, I want to believe
That this makes more sense
In this ever complicated world of love and dating
The golden rule never fails in the quest of moving on
That when it's over; Then, it's over.
It might be easier said than done.
But, it's simply the way to go.
When the love has grown cold
You can't do anything to make it warm again
Some things are best left the way it turned out to.
So spare yourself a piece of self-respect
Let bygones, be bygones...
Let it go
Just don't push it.